You heard that right…starting over…again.
I think if you have not hard to re-start or change gears while doing what you want, you are a lair. I really do. Sorry! I think that we all face challenges in life that hold us back and tell us “It will happen, just not going this direction.”
I always get so pissed when that happens, and I need to take a step back and think about things. Sometimes I end up thinking way too much and never actually try again until it hits me and I think, “man, I have not done anything and you can really tell.” The other thing that makes me mad is that I am probably the last one to notice. Enter me just being pissed at myself.
So here I am, once again, starting over. I can honestly say that I have not, not done anything. I have gone for walks, I have joined the kickball team, and I have taken a run here and there. The problem is I have not been consistent with anything. I hate not being consistent more than anything, but it is so hard to be consistent.
I get tired of all the people out there with the “no excuses” bull shit. I mean I am not coming up with excuses, it is legitimately hard. I am not trying to run during the day when I have two kids with me. They don’t want to be confined to a stroller, and honestly one is heavier than I would care to push in a stroller. I know there are other things that I could do, but I want to run.
I hate running with my kids. Yes, that is what I said. One gets twenty steps in and wants to walk. The other starts crying and whining about half a mile in. I can’t just leave them on the road we run on. I don’t feel that is my best parenting move.
I like it when my husband runs with me, but everything is on his terms. I have to be ready right when he gets home, and we never really know when he is coming home, so there is no real way to plan for it. Also if I am not 100% ready he is in a bad mood then, which translates to me being a bad mood because my crystal ball wasn’t working that day to realize I needed to start 20 minutes earlier than I did. I mean really?
I would love to run in the mornings before he goes to work. That is where I have found most of my success in morning running. It is extremely dark here in the morning ( or at least is seems) to run before he goes. Plus if I go run, who does his breakfast and coffee? He might argue I don’t do it every single day, so it shouldn’t matter, but I do like to do it. I would love to get the girls up and run while they are getting ready, but I fear they don’t actually get ready, and if something were to happen and they are at the house alone….Ugh…I hate this. Can someone buy me a treadmill? That would solve this all.
I have a horrible mind set that is easily defeated, and I am working on battling my way back – “excuses” and all, because I am sorry. Everyone that is spewing the “no excuses” bull shit, give them also. We are all human.
Anyone interested in joining me?